


Letters of Love

by lilacsuns (Milival)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: 4+1 Things, And MarkHyuck, How Do I Tag, Love Letters, M/M, Norenhyuck are dating, Platonic Relationships, Polyamory, so are renmin, they all love Jeno so much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-10-01 19:31:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20381149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milival/pseuds/lilacsuns
Summary: Four times Jeno received love letters and the one time he was the one writing.





	Letters of Love

**Author's Note:**

> A huge thanks to Mel for beta-ing this fic and finding the title, ily you're the best !!

Hey Jen,

I know this isn’t the first letter I’ve written to you. It won’t be the last, either, at least I hope so. But this time it’s different, more serious. I swear it is, don’t laugh, I’m actually going to talk about something important. Not that the other letters weren’t important, because they _ are _, but this time it’s different. Can you tell that I’m rambling? Yeah I am, I can’t help it, I’m nervous. 

I’d love to say that I knew ever since the day I met you when we were like 3, I really would. But it would be a lie because we met when we were 10 and because I didn’t know right away. I haven’t known until recently, actually. I’ve had my doubts, but it wasn’t until Jaehyun’s birthday that I really knew. You’re probably so confused right now, I’m sorry. I swear you’ll get it soon, just… Keep reading, okay? I’m trying real hard, I promise. 

So. Jaehyun’s birthday. Was it a party? I’m not really sure. But it doesn’t matter. I was so happy you asked me to come, you know? Because it was mostly your family here, and a few of his friends, and I love your brother, Jen, but I’m not his friend, so I wasn’t expecting to be invited. And I know it was probably mostly because you didn’t want to be all alone once the adults started talking about boring stuff and Jae and his friends started talking about school or girls or whatever, but still, it made me really happy. And it was a really awesome day, and I ate so much, and you looked really cute in your fancy sweater. I had a really good time, and then when everyone left and your parents took Jaehyun to eat and it was just the two of us it was even better, because I like it better when it’s just us. I don’t really know why, I just do. Actually, I might know but I can’t tell you right now, you’ll see at the end of that letter. You better read until the end, Jeno, or I’m gonna be mad. Or sad. Or both. 

You fell asleep first that night, on my lap. I was watching tv and playing with your hair just like you like it, and you looked so peaceful, so cute like that and honestly my first thought was that I hoped you’d always look this happy. And I still do. I mean I’ve always hoped that you’d always be happy. But this was the first time it felt that strong, the first time I thought ‘Wow. I need him to be this happy forever and I want to be the reason why’. It was unexpected. Probably like this letter? 

By this point you might have an idea as what this is all about. Or maybe not. You can be really dense when you want to. You’re so oblivious sometimes, Jen, I almost can’t believe it. I can’t believe you haven’t realized how much I like you. Because really, this is what this letter is about. I know you’ve gotten a lot of those on Valentine’s Day, but I like letters, and I’m too scared to say it out loud for now. I like you so much it almost hurts, and it was really confusing at first, but now that I’ve realized it’s just… It’s really scary, you know? Because you’re my best friend. I’m not supposed to fall for you, and yet here I am. And I really hope you won’t be mad or hate me for that. I’m not sorry, because I can’t help it and… it’s _ you _. I know it probably doesn’t make sense to you, but it does to me, and you’re just such a good person and you’re so lovely (I know it’s cringy, shut up) and of course I’d fall for you. How could I not? 

So yeah, this is me confessing to you. Jen, I like you so much, and maybe you like me back. I’m not really sure. But if you do, please, please let me take you on a date or kiss you, or both. I swear I’ll be the best boyfriend I could be, you deserve the best, and I promise I’ll do my best to give it to you. I like you too much not to. 

Your Duckie **♡**

\------------ 

Hey Babe,

I don’t really know how to start this to be honest. Hyuck said you liked letters a lot, and I think I like the idea. I love knowing that you’ll be able to read this back anytime you want and remember how much I love and care about you. I mean, I am planning on reminding you as much as I can, don’t get me wrong, babe. But now you have this letter too, just in case. 

I feel like it’s weird to write you a letter now. It should be a thing for confessing, or celebrating a birthday right? But we’ve already confessed, and we won’t have a birthday for a while, we just started dating. I just wanted to write, to tell you how happy you make me, how much I love you. Don’t tell Hyuck, but you were the first that caught my eyes. I saw you smile at him once, at the library, and I just sat there thinking, ‘Fuck that boy is so pretty.’ You’re so pretty, baby, I’ll never stop thinking that. I’ll never get tired of telling you, of making you smile that pretty eye-smile of yours. It makes my heart flutter every time, no matter how much I see it. Hyuck and I are so lucky baby, so lucky to get to date you, and kiss you and get to make you laugh and smile. I can’t believe I’m lucky enough to date the three prettiest boys ever. I really can’t believe it. But then our eyes meet and I feel like maybe, maybe this was destiny. Written in the stars or something like that. It took us a while, and we struggled a bit, yeah, but now we’re here, and Jen, babe, I’m never letting you go. Life would be too bland if I lost even just one of you. 

I can’t wait to take you on so many dates. I know you’ll end up dragging me to a cat cafe at some point, I’ve already got your meds ready, and you better be ready for some stargazing. I’m sure you’ll love it. Even if you don’t it’s fine, I just want to get to hold your hand and show you the stars. You don’t even have to listen, honestly. I know you will, though, because you’re sweet like that. The sweetest boyfriend I could’ve dreamed of really. I know this sounds weird and probably sarcastic, I really don’t mean it like that. I’m so genuinely happy you came into my life, and I feel really lucky you ended up liking me, you know? Not to be self-deprecating, but two cute boys dating and another cute boy, ending up all falling for me at the same time? Not really how I thought my life would go. 

I’m sorry if this letter is a mess, Hyuck’s better at this than I am, but I know you like this kind of attention and gestures, and really, I’d do anything to make you happy. I know I’m a sarcastic asshole most of the time, and you’re probably so done with it by now, but I care about you a lot, and you being happy and well and comfortable is so important, and I plan on making you happy for a long time, if you let me. 

I can’t wait for the rest of our life together, after all it’s just the beginning of our story. 

I love you.

Your Renjun. 

\----------- 

Hey, Pup. 

Can you believe it’s been one year already? One year of this wonderfully unique relationship. I mean, I know we’re technically not in a relationship, we’re not dating, I’m just Renjun’s boyfriend. But so are you, and so is Hyuck, so I feel like we’re kind of a big relationship, in a way. I’m sure you get what I’m trying to say. When we first met I didn’t think we would end up like this. I knew we’d get along, I could feel that already. I just didn’t think we’d end up dating the same boy.

Even when we started it, I have to admit, I had my doubts. I think we all did. It wasn’t easy at first, I didn’t know how to act and what was allowed or not, but you helped me so much with all of it. You made it so much easier to feel included, like I belonged there. You made me realize that we could be more than just people who shared a boyfriend, that we could actually be friends, really good friends. And maybe we’ve crossed a few lines, sure, but in the end that’s what we are right? We’re really good friends who date the same guy and sometimes make-out. We’ve come so far, can you believe? 

I know it wasn’t easy to get there. It took us all a while to get it, to understand each other and our boundaries. It took us even longer to figure the whole poly thing out, to figure out how we were supposed to explain our relationship to others. It took us a while, and a lot of work, but we made it, we really did. And I feel like nothing could bring us down now, our bonds are too strong for that. If I had to, I’d do it all again, without a doubt. I’d choose you guys over anything and anyone. I wouldn’t be this happy if I didn’t have you. Singular. You’re one of the greatest people I’ve ever met. I’m not even kidding. You’re always here to make sure everyone feels good and that nothing’s wrong, and sometimes something is wrong, and you just… it’s like it becomes your life mission to make sure the problem gets solved as quickly as possible. I know I’m the one who makes us talk things out most of the times, but it wouldn’t work if you weren’t here to make sure nobody got too mad and stepped over the line. And we’re all so grateful for that. For you.

I’m so grateful I have you in my life, Lee Jeno. I don’t know what I’d do without you by my side. Don’t tell Hyuckie, but you’re the best friend I ever had. Probably the best I’ll ever have. And, honestly, I don’t mind, I always knew I’d reach my peak in college. I’m getting off-track. 

One year since we started this, one wonderful year, filled with so many adventures and new things, a year that taught me so much. And I know there’s still a lot more in store for us. I can’t wait to see what happens next, can’t wait for the next big milestones in our relationship(s?). I have no doubt it will be great, because I know you’ll be there to make it awesome and to make sure everyone is included. You’re the best boyfriend I could want for my boyfriend, and the best partner/friend I could ask for, really. 

All of this… I won’t deny that it was hard. But we made it, and I’m so proud of us, Pup. 

Nana ✿

\----------- 

Hey, Jen!

If you get this letter then it means miracles really do exist. I’ve been struggling for hours over it, but I’ve been told the way to your heart is through letters, so I’m doing my absolute best to deliver. Not that I’m trying to woo you. I love you, but not like that. I’m writing this while sitting on a box and using another one as a table. But I heard that’s the struggle of moving out. And it’s not like you don’t know what I’m talking about, I’m sure your room is worse. Our boyfriend has too much stuff. I can already picture Renjun and Jaemin’s faces once they see your and Hyuck’s room. It’ll be priceless. 

What I really can’t wait for though is to finally unpack at the new place. Our place. It feels nice to say and write, doesn’t it? Our place. Because we’re functioning adults in a committed relationship. An unusual one, yeah, but still a relationship, and still committed. But it’s not really why I’m writing. I mean it is, in a way, but it’s not the important part. 

I wanted to write you something because I’m really happy with how everything turned out. I’m sure it wasn’t easy when Hyuck told you and the others about me. It wasn’t when he told me about you guys, it took me a while to wrap my head around the idea of three guys dating and some of them having added boyfriends. I’d never seen it you know? We’re the first I know to try this seriously. But after a while, after thinking about it, and educating myself it all started to make more sense. And so I came around, and accepted the idea of dating a boy who was already in a relationship with two (three?) people. And I’m so glad I did, not only because I met you, and you’re amazing, but also because it taught me so much. I don’t think I was close-minded before, but I do think that getting involved in this relationship made me a lot more open-minded. It taught me so much, about people and relationships, but most importantly about myself, and about how I view relationships. I didn’t think I’d be suited for this you know? That’s what made me hesitant at first, I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to feel comfortable with sharing. But after a while I realized I wasn’t really sharing Donghyuck. His love isn’t divided between us, he just has a lot to give. And to see him receiving so much love, from you, Renjun, even Jaem… It honestly makes me so happy, I’m so relieved to know he’s got so many people loving him and caring for him. And I’m so happy I get to give back as much as I can. I know you and I aren’t in love. We probably never will be, we’re too good as friends, but it’s enough. You’re a great friend, and we make a great team, and I love what we have. Just as I love what Renjun and I have, or what Jaemin and I have.

Every relationship is different in ours, because we’re all different. But I’ve learned that it’s not a bad thing, on the contrary. It’s because we’re all unique, and so are our relationships that we work so well. And now we’re moving in, all together. I honestly have to pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming sometimes. It feels too good to be true. But it is, it actually is, and I don’t think I could be happier than I am right now. 

Thank you for being you, and for helping me learn so much, for helping me grow. I don’t think I could’ve done it without you, Jen. 

Love you, bro. 

Mark.

\--------- 

My loves. 

This is a letter for the four of you. You can take turns to have it, have shared custody of it. You’ve been in my life for years. We’ve been in a variety of relationships that make a big one for years too. Those were wonderful, amazing years that I will always cherish. And I’m sure we still have so many more to go through together. I don’t plan on leaving any of you soon. 

Through the years you all wrote me letters for big milestones. You really do know the way to my heart. Now this is my turn. It’s not a big milestone for us really, but for me it is. I know you’re confused and have no idea what I’m talking about, Hyuck, stop pouting and be a bit patient okay? You too, Jaemin. I swear it will make sense. 

We’ve been dating for… years now. And it’s been a few months since we moved in together, since we decided that this was the way we wanted to do it. That we’d start adult life as a team. And I haven’t regretted this decision once, haven’t even doubted it. Because ever since there’s five of us, ever since we realized that this was it, we were complete, at least for now, I’ve known. I’ve known you were the people I want to spend my life with. This is gonna be cliché and maybe make you cringe a bit, but you guys are the loves of my life. You truly are, all four of you. I couldn’t go on if even one of you disappeared from my life. Not possible. 

I remember when I was a kid, my mom used to tell me about how she met my dad, and she knew he was the one. At some point home to her became my dad instead of her physical home. And ever since I was a kid I’ve imagined when that same thing would happen. I’ve known you were the ones for a while now, but now… now I really know what she was talking about when she talked about feeling at home with him. Because you’re my home. Not our place, because it’s kinda crappy and definitely not a big enough apartment, our first one but not the last, I’m sure. No, you guys are my home. When I’m with you is when I feel the most at peace, when I feel truly complete, when I’m the more at ease. You all light up my world in your own special ways, and I love finding out new things you do that make me laugh or smile or just make me happy. And you do. You’re all talented beings, but what’s your biggest talent? If anyone were to ask me, my answer would be: making me happy. No one, absolutely no one can do it like you do. It can be a lot of things: Hyuck’s good morning kisses, Renjun singing while he’s cooking, Jaemin’s random but never unwelcome hugs, or Mark singing us songs on Sunday afternoons, it all makes my heart burst with happiness. It doesn’t have to be fancy, most of the times the simplest gestures are the more meaningful ones.

Sure, we’ve had our ups and downs. We’ll have some again in the future. But I know that at the end of the day, no matter what happens, we’ll be snuggling together on the couch while watching reruns of _ Gilmore Girls _because none of us can say no to Duckie’s pout. 

I am absolutely certain that, no matter what, everything will turn out fine. Because it’s us. We were made for each other, and we’re too involved and care too much to let things go bad. There is no doubt in my mind that this, what we have, this wonderful relationship, it’s endgame. Because I can’t imagine my life without you, I truly can’t. No matter what the future has in store for me, I know that I’ll get through it with the four of you by my side. 

Thank you for giving me the home I’ve always dreamed of, for being that home. Thank you for making me a better human being, a better boyfriend, a better friend, a better partner. Thank you for all the things you’ve taught me, all the dumb jokes you’ve told me, all the adventures—simple or not—we’ve ever been on. Thank you for the future you’ve given me, for all the things we still have to experience together, I can’t wait for all of that. Thank you for giving me your love and your trust. Thank you for making me who I am today. You made me complete. 

I love you to the moon and back. 

Your Jeno. _Always yours_. 

**Author's Note:**

> This concept turned into me waxing poetry about Jeno at some point, and I'm honestly not even that sorry
> 
> I hope you liked this, I really enjoyed writing it !
> 
> Come talk to me on Twitter : @chatonvegetal


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